Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Unseen Loneliness


          Hello there readers!! It's been so long is't since the last time I wrote my post here right? Well, before I've kind of busy with my life. Then comes several problems, trials and tribulation hitting on my daily life that change my emotions quite a lot. After that I'm trying to recover myself from the severe damage of my sentiment. Bla bla bla and so on that not important.

          As the result, I'm kind of steady right now compare to several month back then. Yet some unacceptable feelings come to wrap up on me. I call it the 'loneliness' that is unseen. Arghh! Why does that feelings come at this moments??? damn! Come to think of it, how did I get this feelings before? Ohh yeah, it because years back I have someone very very dearly to me to accompany my daily life. Which makes my day full of spirit and lively even though I have nothing to be proud of. Because my day full with love, I didn't realize the consequences that I have to face in the future. As wise man said, 'there nothing free in this world, everything have a price to pay with'.

          Hundreds days of happy moment with that 'special' person come to the end. I don't want to detailed behind the scene as I still feel hurt until today. The happiness I enjoy without worries paid with lost that torture my soul. The pain cannot be seen with even a crystal clear eyes yet feelings is so destruction. Enough is enough. My best friend a.k.a unrelated blood twin doesn't shock when I told her the story. Yet she babbling "I know it will end like yet you never learn your lesson. Stop crying, your tears value much more then that brat!" Urghhhh! My my she sound like a nanny to be but she the only friend who know me so well even what kind of background I have. Love you twin!!

          Now I've been wrapping under the sheet of loneliness. I try to do many activities until I feel lazy to do so....hahahaha So my friends came with crazy idea (I think its so crazy) to introduce me to some of their 'single' friends so that I move on my life and stop stick to the brat that doesn't know how to appreciate me. AHHHHH......its crazy you know!! I'm not that kind of girl who can simply befriend with stranger guy without any purpose. This is nonsense! Still they insist me to do so especially my so loyal twin that keep babbling at me every time I complain to her about this uneasiness feeling....(ohh twin,how could you do this to me).                 (-_-!!)

         Hurmm...if only I learn from my past, I would never turn to be this way right? I have face this situation many time before and the reason they give is exactly the same. FAMILY PROBLEM . why are they being so obstructive towards me? Which part of my background that you all can't accept the most?? Arghhh, my poor poor lovely family. Nobody want to accept me when they know my background. Its okay, I still love my family very much even though many boys rejected me, my family wouldn't. Love you my family!!

        I accept my friends idea which thanks to Nasuha and Hidayah for the introductions. The truth is I'm scared!! I know they are not alien but they are so call 'men' you know. Urgghhhh! Did I mention I hate boys and men now? except my family members. Sorry, pardon me for my mistake. Yes I quite hate them a little bit. Boys only know how to break girls heart. I hate that. Have you ever heard this quote "Boys are stupid, some men too".  I think that quite is right. (ok kina, please take care of your mouth and don't start to cursing here) Fuhh, lets calm down for awhile.

        I think I should end it here before I'm cursing some more which are not so got for my mouth. Hope this 'loneliness' feelings will disappeared soon. Please heart I begging you to heal completely in peace.

Till then, see you in the future readers!!


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