Sunday, July 28, 2013

I do miss you but I shy


Its been days now..I didn't contact him and so do his..Doesn't know where went wrong. Its like both are so ego about their own feelings. I wish I could start first but I trembling shy. Not because I'm sick but  cause the answer that he gives to me. He didn't just answer it once but twice same answer. I'm quiet shock but what else could I say. I can't control people, and they can't control me.

At first I like am I not that worth to him? I was like "Oh my,how could you?" and then all I do is crying all the time without thinking of anything. I mind was like turning into blank. Can't thing of anythings right. I was like a blurr girl who hasn't stop crying. Why does it hurt so much? I also can't think about it at that time. All I know that is its really hurt and I feel like I can't bare it and the tears just bursting out like a heavy rains.

Well, that's what a girl like when they hurt. They might not punch you up on your face or give you a straight away side kick. Crying is the best ever method for girls@women on how they try to relieve the unseen pain. But boys@men will always think that we are the crybaby yet doesn't realize that women don like forces. Maybe that was what he thinking about. Maybe he hates me for crying a lot.

That why some people say words are power. With a single word, it can change everything. But some people say no, unless that person means a lot to you. Is there any words that have change your life? I do. Especially when I'm talk with him or texting him. Words sure does give much expression to me. It can be good or bad and it depends. 

I have face so much failure in my relationship which I until now still can't understand why or what the actual reasons they left me behind (people prefer to say "tiada jodoh"). And so do now. He prefer to keep silence, running away from me without want to involve in any discussion. He's not like that before when I first met him. Maybe he change as time fly by. I realize that time can fade our feelings if we not even try to cherish them. Maybe that's what happen.( Doesn't bother to even try to cherish it?)

Has it become one sided love again? I afraid that it would become like that. Love should be something that precious and beautiful to human. What I can't understand why does it happen only so beautiful in the beginning, faded in between and broke in the end? Every person that in love will face this won't they. I'm so proud and touch to see old married couples still remain together this the last of their life. They sure patience with their spouse. Salute!

 Girls out there, I'm not the one who feel like this am I? Have you all face this situation like mine? I've face it many time yet I face it again now. Hahahaha....silly me right? I really feel that I'm so silly cause it doesn't just happen to me twice or trice but more that. Still I fall for it again and again. I don't know what are the things that I still can see and realize. 

Should I just walk away? I really miss him and love him a lot. But I feel embarrassed right now. With his answer, should I  bold my face and keep running for him? Won't that mean like I'm forcing the fact to turn over on the side? I just don't know which to decide. Our memories together just too beautiful to be wasted. I really appreciate his existence in my life. 

I unable to say anything right now. Just hoping he do realize how do I really feel upon him.

# readers try not to be like me okay. It sure hurts a lot you know. 

Till then everyone...


1 comment:

  1. When you have something to tell someone, just go ahead & tell him. Don't wait..
    And don't waste your tears on happy & live your life. :)