Monday, September 9, 2013

Be patience as life getting hard

Assalamualaikum...(^_^)

It's been a while since my last post I guess. Well, there's a lot of reasons and influence that constrain my time from spending it here. As usual, I use plenty of time just to create a post. Maybe I'm not that expert to write fast or have flowing bunch of ideas to pin down here. Anyway, I'm already here and I'm gonna write one today.

Like the topic, that is what I'm gonna express today. Lots of things happen during the period of time from my last post. It's really a lot that I unable to express one by one. I will conclude everything just in this post or maybe some other post later if I diligently wanna write....kikikikiki


Life really uneasy as we think and actually it's not complicated as we thought if we really follow 'the flow'. What makes things so difficult is ourselves who makes things even worst as we against the stream or path that have been decide or written for us by Allah. Everything in our life have been written by Him but it doesn't mean we cannot try to change our destiny. As long as we put our effort on it and tawakal (give the rest to Allah) after we have do everything possible we do.


Not just your life, my life also having difficulties and faces challenges that I think really feels heavy to carry on my shoulder yet that my life test and I still have to endure it. Every human on the earth will face their life examination, the difference just about what kind of tests and the level of difficulties. It can come from many aspect either studies, jobs, money matters, family problems or even love. Still, it is things that we have to face.

I wish I could clarify it to my boyfriend who feel burden now with all kind of test that he face in his life. My heart feel sad and pity on him as I know he really have big responsible to be carry on his life yet he prefer to keep silence than sharing it with me. How I really hope I can be the one that he can share his burden with cause I realize life is to hard to be carry alone by ourself. I wish he would read my blog and realize that I'm always here for him and ready to faces the life test with him either it goods or bads.


Human are created to worship their God that is Allah. That is the basic reason of human creation. In addition, human on earth have to carry their responsibilities as the ruler of the earth. The smallest responsible of human is the responsible of their on life. That why we have to manage ourself carefully cause what are we doing on earth right now will be our supply to the afterlife.

Being patience is the most important character or attitude that we need to have to face our challenge in life. Because life will never get easy and it never be free from trials and tribulations. That why a wise man have said, "Do not request for a happy ever after life, because life will never get easy. But pray for perseverance, as perseverance will help you through your life difficulties."  



Even though we found that life is too hard or too difficult to face on, don't run away cause it will worsen them. There will always be a way to solve it. Never stop pray for changes. If we find it so blur like there's no way out, seek for help from other. The best method is we seek help from Allah because the test is come from Him. From the Creator we receive these bunch of test and from Him also we should seek for solution. Only He knows what the best for us so never stop praying even though how tired we feels.


So to my dear love, that is what life is about. I know that it actually wasn't simple as I talk about it, but I always here for you. I just want you to know that your not alone. Please don't feel blank about it cause there will always be a way for us to get through all these challenges in our relationship and our life. Share the burden with me cause that is what lovers for. We can complete each other with our imperfection and sail in the ship of our life. I love you always...Y


Sunday, July 28, 2013

I do miss you but I shy

Morning...

Its been days now..I didn't contact him and so do his..Doesn't know where went wrong. Its like both are so ego about their own feelings. I wish I could start first but I trembling shy. Not because I'm sick but  cause the answer that he gives to me. He didn't just answer it once but twice same answer. I'm quiet shock but what else could I say. I can't control people, and they can't control me.



At first I like am I not that worth to him? I was like "Oh my,how could you?" and then all I do is crying all the time without thinking of anything. I mind was like turning into blank. Can't thing of anythings right. I was like a blurr girl who hasn't stop crying. Why does it hurt so much? I also can't think about it at that time. All I know that is its really hurt and I feel like I can't bare it and the tears just bursting out like a heavy rains.


Well, that's what a girl like when they hurt. They might not punch you up on your face or give you a straight away side kick. Crying is the best ever method for girls@women on how they try to relieve the unseen pain. But boys@men will always think that we are the crybaby yet doesn't realize that women don like forces. Maybe that was what he thinking about. Maybe he hates me for crying a lot.

That why some people say words are power. With a single word, it can change everything. But some people say no, unless that person means a lot to you. Is there any words that have change your life? I do. Especially when I'm talk with him or texting him. Words sure does give much expression to me. It can be good or bad and it depends. 


I have face so much failure in my relationship which I until now still can't understand why or what the actual reasons they left me behind (people prefer to say "tiada jodoh"). And so do now. He prefer to keep silence, running away from me without want to involve in any discussion. He's not like that before when I first met him. Maybe he change as time fly by. I realize that time can fade our feelings if we not even try to cherish them. Maybe that's what happen.( Doesn't bother to even try to cherish it?)


Has it become one sided love again? I afraid that it would become like that. Love should be something that precious and beautiful to human. What I can't understand why does it happen only so beautiful in the beginning, faded in between and broke in the end? Every person that in love will face this won't they. I'm so proud and touch to see old married couples still remain together this the last of their life. They sure patience with their spouse. Salute!



 Girls out there, I'm not the one who feel like this am I? Have you all face this situation like mine? I've face it many time yet I face it again now. Hahahaha....silly me right? I really feel that I'm so silly cause it doesn't just happen to me twice or trice but more that. Still I fall for it again and again. I don't know what are the things that I still can see and realize. 


Should I just walk away? I really miss him and love him a lot. But I feel embarrassed right now. With his answer, should I  bold my face and keep running for him? Won't that mean like I'm forcing the fact to turn over on the side? I just don't know which to decide. Our memories together just too beautiful to be wasted. I really appreciate his existence in my life. 


I unable to say anything right now. Just hoping he do realize how do I really feel upon him.

# readers try not to be like me okay. It sure hurts a lot you know. 

Till then everyone...

KINA





Saturday, July 27, 2013

Think positively no matter how hard life is

Morning everyone...(^_^)

Does it hard to think positively in your life? What about you guys out there? To me its depend on the situations and the persons too. If they are my friends, its easy mizzy but if they are my enemy, I would think twice about them..kikikikiki

Why do I choose this topic today? Because my eyes and heart has catch caution on a picture quote I found on my twitter home. It was posted by Quran Weekly.

It remind me about my self on how I judged people around me. My judgement are depends mostly on how my feelings upon them. Easy to say that its been control by my feelings more. Sometimes I feels its not right to make such evaluations yet its hard to control myself from doing it. You can say that I'm hardly thinking positive and easy to blend the negative ones.

I know its not good and its not the right attitude. That why I feel being struck by the quote up there. It's like I'm not doing any of it except the last one. Bad me,huh? Yeah I now that. So I was look back at my self, scanning all the bad deed that I've done. I'm speechless. But its not too late to repent right?


And to my love one too. I do think negatively about him lately. Why do I say lately? Because I trust him so much at first without any hesitation. Yet he spoiled my trust and everything I do believe. People might say give him a second chance. I do give him the second one yet he betray me again. That so far as I knew, not to mention behind me that I don't know.

Since then I always thought negative about him even I try to be positive one. Its hard you know when all your trust being crumble like a paper. The scar is there. Its not that I don't want to forgive him. I already did, it just the pain from it still left behind. After found this quote, I feel sorry for him. Who am I to judged people? I'm not a God, just a merely plain human life in slit of living things.


So I'll keep remind about this quote in me. He might be done wrong things, yet I still have to forgive and be patience in my life. I would pray the best for him and this relationship. Its all in Allah hands. I have to focus on positive things in my life. On what ever I see, hear, or do. Life might be hard, still it have to be go on as long as we breath.

I pray to all my readers to be more positive in their life. Have a better life and appreciate people around you even though they are far away.


Till then....

KINA

Friday, July 26, 2013

A Broken Heart That Still Love

To my dear love Allan, you might not read my blog. But this poem I dedicated to you dearly. I love you now dear and always will. Like what had been craving on our love rings.




How do I mend a broken heart?
My entire world has fallen apart.
How do I find hope in a brand new day?
When the one I love has gone away.

My mind overflows with memories of you,
Of all that we've shared, all that we knew.
I long for your touch and your warm embrace,
The look in your eyes, the smile on your face.


My dreams are filled with your soft gentle kiss,
I wake and cry for all that I miss.
How do I mend a broken heart?
When my one true love and I a part?

My heart knows to love only you, 
It won't let go,
What do I do?


Our moments together were precious and few,
But I cherished them all more than you knew.
I love you and always will,
I loved you then and I love you still.

The doubts that came and often knocked,
My love for you was safely locked.

Until the day you came to me,
The love in me you did not see,
Without you my dear how could I be?
My love for you I could not free.

And yet you know I still love you,
A love that's strong and oh so true.
Where ever you go where ever to,
My love for you will follow too. 

-Jenna-


Tuesday, July 23, 2013

I tried so hard



I tried so hard. 
I tried my best.
I gave you my all, 
and now there's nothing left.

You stole my heart,
then tore it in two.
Now I'm falling apart,
and don't know what to do.

Divided by decisions,
burned by the fire.
Confused by your words.
Tempted by desire.

I'm living in the present.
My mind is on the past.
Not knowing what I'll lose.
Not knowing what will last.

Blinded by fear.
Drowning in doubt.
Struggling to be free.
Looking for a way out.

© Whitney Barton


Source: I Tried So Hard, Heartbreak Poem http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/i-tried-so-hard#ixzz2Zpn2bomf 
www.FamilyFriendPoems.com 

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Poems Collections

Afternoon you guys!

Feeling hot today? Me too. Today's whether quiet hot than before that when I'm lazing on the bed with my laptop in front. Ahh..what a day. Browsing through and found some nice poems to read. Here it is....












I'm dedicated this poem to the one I love. But, he might not read my blog of course. Well, that's okay to me. If not maybe I'll got busted by my harsh words. Hohoho..;p

Till then peeps..

KINA

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Heal the wounded heart

Assalamualaikum...


After searching some useful content while blog walking, I found something that struck my eyes. It say the way to heal your heart. Well, I guess that sounds useful to me since I not in a good condition right now. Maybe it will help me to heal my wound in the heart. Here I share with you all the content. Hope it will be useful to us all....take your time to read and digest it...(^_^)


Setiap manusia yang dijadikan Allah dibekalkan dengan akal dan emosi agar manusia boleh menjalankan kehidupan dengan sebaik yang mungkin. Emosi perlu dikawal oleh akal dan akal pula perlu dikawal oleh iman. Jika ketiga-tiga ini ada di dalam diri manusia, maka sudah pasti ia akan menjadi manusia yang baik dan soleh. Bergantung kepada cara individu tersebut untuk mengawal emosinya agar tidak keterlaluan dan sentiasa berada dalam keadaan normal. Emosi yang hanya berpandukan kepada akal semata-mata akan menjadi sesat dan jauh menyimpang dari ajaran Islam. Contoh yang dapat kita lihat sekarang seperti ramai umat Islam yang sanggup membunuh diri kerana kekecewaan yang sangat. Ada pula yang sanggup membunuh atau mencederakan orang lain kerana terlalu marah. Tetapi apabila ia dikawal oleh akal dan iman sudah tentu orang yang sedih akan pasrah kerana ia tahu bahawa itu adalah ketentuan Allah dan setiap perkara itu ada hikmah disebaliknya.

Hati yang hiba tidak boleh kita hapuskan dan ia merupakan sebahagian daripada emosi yang telah dianugerahkan kepada manusia. Caranya untuk mengawal hati yang hiba ini ialah kembali kepada Islam seperti yang saya tegaskan di atas. Islam mempunyai penawar yang mujarab bagi mengubati segala penyakit manusia sama ada rohani atau jasmani. Hal ini sangat berbeza dengan agama-agama yang lain kerana mereka tidak ada asas pembinaan rohani kepada setiap umat mereka.

Membaca Al-Quran

Al-Quran adalah ubat yang sangat mustajab kepada manusia bagi menghilangkan perasaan hiba dan segala penyakit hati dan jasad. Setiap orang yang membaca Al-Quran akan menjadi tenang dan Allah akan memberikannya jalan keluar atas segala kesulitan yang dihadapi olehnya. Firman Allah yang bermaksud :

“Dan Kami turunkan dengan beransur-ansur dari Al-Quran Aya-ayat suci yang menjadi ubat penawar dan rahmat bagi orang-orang yang beriman kepadanya; dan (sebaliknya) Al-Quran tidak menambahkan orang-orang yang zalim (disebabkan keingkaran mereka) melainkan kerugian jua.” (Al-Isra : 82)

Seorang lelaki datang berjumpa dengan Ibnu Mas’ud. Dia mengeluh dan berkata “Wahai Ibnu Mas’ud nasihatilah aku dan berilah penawar untuk jiwaku yang gelisah ini, aku tidak tenteram, jiwa gelisah dan fikiran aku bercelaru. Ibnu Mas’ud menjawab “kalau begitu bacalah Al-Quran atau engkau mendengar orang membaca Al-Quran.

Mengunjungi Tempat Pengajian

Mengunjungi tempat pengajian juga merupakan cara untuk mendidik jiwa agar mengenali dan sentiasa mengingati Allah. Tidak rugi orang yang sentiasa mengunjungi tempat pengajian, kerana di dalam pengajian tersebut dipenuhi dengan nasihat, ilmu, ayat-ayat Al-Quran dan hadis. Ini bertujuan untuk mendidik nafsu dan emosi kita agar sentiasa bertindak mengikuti kehendak Allah dan tidak menyalahi syarak. Menuntut ilmu adalah amalan yang sangat baik dan sangat dituntut oleh Islam dan ia juga merupakan fardu ain bagi sekalian umat Islam.

Telah Berkata Muadz bin Jabal : “Pelajarilah Ilmu, karena mempelajari ilmu merupakan bentuk Khosyah (takut) kepada Allah, Menuntutnya adalah ibadah dan mempelajarinya secara bersama-sama adalah tasbih”.

Jelas di sini, orang yang rajin menuntut ilmu atau menghadiri kelas-kelas pengajian ilmu, seolahnya ia sentiasa bertasbih dan berzikir kepada Allah. Segala kepayahan, kesukaran dan kesedihan yang dihadapi olehnya akan terubat dan ia tahu bagaimana untuk bertindak sesuai dengan tuntutan Islam. Ini berbeza dengan orang yang tidak menuntut ilmu, kerana mereka sering melakukan kesalahan dalam tindakan mereka dan kadang-kadang ibadah yang dilakukan juga silap. Perkara sebegini sangat bahaya dan sangat merugikan orang yang tidak berilmu.

Sentiasa Berzikir

Untuk menghilangkan perasaan hiba yang dialami oleh seseorang, maka hendaklah ia sentiasa berzikir menyebut nama Allah. Perasaan hiba ini berlaku apabila hati seseorang itu terluka. Untuk merawat hati yang terlupa memerlukan suatu kaedah yang rohaniah dan tidak boleh menggunakan ubat-ubatan farmasi atau klinik. Zikir adalah ubat yang sangat mustajab dan sangat mempengaruhi hati seseorang yang selalu berzikir.

Jika ia berjalan tersepak batu mulutnya terus menyebut “Allah Akbar”, setelah kekenyangan dia menyebut “Alhamdulillah”, apabila ia terperanjat atau melihat sesuatu yang menakjubkan dia menyebut “Subhanallah”. Inilah yang dikatakan orang yang memiliki hati yang hidup dan sentiasa mengingati Allah. Firman Allah yang bermaksud :

"(Iaitu) orang-orang yang beriman dan tenang tenteram hati mereka dengan zikrullah". ketahuilah dengan "zikrullah" itu, tenang tenteramlah hati manusia.” (Ar-Rad : 28)

Mengerjakan Solat

Solat merupakan ibadah yang paling penting di dalam Islam, tanpa mendirikan solat! ibadah lain juga turut ditolak. Jadi kita sebagai umat Islam, jangan sesekali mensia-siakan amanah yang diperintahkan Allah ini pada setiap hari dan waktu, walaupun sibuk dengan tugasan harian, namun solat sesekali tidak pernah ditinggalkan. Hadis Nabi yang bermaksud :

“Solat itu tiang agama, sesiapa mendirikan solat maka dia telah mendirikan agama dan sesiapa meninggalkan solat dia telah meruntuhkan agama”. (Riwayat Baihaqi)

Berkata Dr. Musfir Bin Said Az-Zahrani bahawa solat adalah satu nama yang menunjukkan adanya ikatan yang kuat antara hamba dengan Tuhannya. Dalam solat, hamba seolah berada di hadapan Tuhannya dan dengan penuh kekhusyukannya memohon banyak hal kepadaNya. Perasaan ini akhirnya boleh menimbulkan adanya kejernihan spiritual, ketenangan hati dan keamanan diri di kala ia mengerahkan semua emosi dan anggota tubuhnya mengarahkan kepadaNya dengan meninggalkan semua kesibukkan dunia dan permasalahannya. Pada saat solat ia boleh sepenuhnya memikirkan Tuhannya tanpa ada interaksi dari sesiapa pun hingga pada saat itulah ia merasakan ketenangan dan akalnya pun seolah menemukan waktu rehatnya.

Jelas di sini, bahawa solat adalah sebahagian dari terapi yang boleh mengubati jiwa seseorang yang berada di dalam keadaan hiba. Semasa mendirikan solat, seseorang itu harus mengosongkan jiwa dan raganya untuk member sepenuh tumpuan kepada Allah. Segala yang berlaku sebelum solat telah diredhokannya kerana ia hendak memfokuskan seluruh hatinya kepada solat dengan harapan mendapat khusyuk kepada Allah. Secara tidak langsung, kita tidak mempunyai perasaan iri hati dan dendam kepada sesiapa yang melakukan masalah kepada kita kerana telah redho kepada ketentuan dan ketetapan Allah. Dua perkara yang dapat kita hindar setelah menunaikan solat iaitu perasaan hiba atau kecewa dan perasaan ingin melakukan kejahatan yang jelas dilarang oleh Islam. Firman Allah yang bermaksud :

“Sesungguhnya sembahyang itu mencegah dari perbuatan yang keji dan mungkar’’ (Al-Ankabut : 45)

Amat rugi bagi orang yang mendirikan solat secara sambil lewa tanpa ada semangat untuk melaksanakan solat dengan baik sepertimana yang diajarkan oleh Baginda Rasulullah SAW. Solat yang tidak sempurna diibaratkan seperti kain buruk dan kain itu akan dicampakkan oleh Allah ke muka kita apabila dihari perhitungan nanti.

Bersangka Baik Kepada Orang

Salah satu sifat yang disarankan oleh Islam ialah bersangka baik kepada orang lain (husnuzon) dan ia adalah salah satu dari sifat mahmudah yang ditunjukkan oleh Rasulullah SAW. Punca timbulnya  rasa tidak tenang kepada orang lain adalah kerana kita mempunyai perasangka yang tidak baik kepada orang lain sehingga menyebabkan hubungan kita dengan orang tersebut tidak selesa. Firman Allah yang bermaksud :

“Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! jauhilah kebanyakan dari sangkaan (supaya kamu tidak menyangka sangkaan yang dilarang) kerana sesungguhnya sebahagian dari sangkaan itu adalah dosa; dan janganlah kamu mengintip atau mencari-cari kesalahan dan keaiban orang; dan janganlah setengah kamu mengumpat setengahnya yang lain. Adakah seseorang dari kamu suka memakan daging saudaranya yang telah mati? (jika demikian keadaan mengumpat) maka sudah tentu kamu jijik kepadaNya. (oleh itu, patuhilah larangan-larangan yang tersebut) dan bertaqwalah kamu kepada Allah; Sesungguhnya Allah penerima taubat, lagi Maha Mengasihani.” (Al-Hujurat : 12)

Sikap berbaik sangka ada banyak kebaikannya di antara diri kita dan orang lain. Orang yang berbaik sangka sentiasa mudah untuk menerima orang lain di dalam kehidupannya walaupun orang tersebut tidak mempunyai apa-apa pertalian darah darinya. Walaupun begitu, dia menganggap orang lain seperti saudaranya yang dekat dan sentiasa mudah untuk membantu dan menjalinkan hubungan sosial dengan orang lain. Malah inilah perkara yang dianjurkan oleh Islam, kerana setiap umat Islam itu adalah bersaudara. Ibarat tangan kanan dicubit tangan kiri juga turut merasai kesakitannya.

Selain dari itu, hubungan persaudaraan sesama Islam menjadi lebih baik dan lebih inteam di antara satu sama lain. Ini berlaku adalah disebabkan oleh perasaan yang bebas dan hati yang terbuka dari sebarang sikap dan sifat yang buruk terhadap saudaranya yang lain. Segala kesalahan dan teguran dari orang lain akan dinilai olehnya dengan positif, jika teguran itu baik menuruti lunas-lunas undang-undang Islam akan diterimanya dengan tenang. Manakala yang tidak menepati kehendak Islam akan ditolaknya dengan alasan yang baik dan terbuka. Sekiranya orang lain melakukan kesalahan kepadanya seperti mencerca dan menyakiti hatinya, ia akan segera memaafkan orang tersebut dan diubati kesakitannya dengan zikir dan mengingati Allah.

Penutup

Segala garis panduan yang diberikan di sini, boleh mengubati perasaan yang hiba itu, kerana hati yang hiba tidak boleh diubati dengan ubat, ia mesti diubati dengan rawatan rohani yang hanya terdapat di dalam agama Islam sahaja. Islam meliputi semua aspek iaitu rohani dan jasmani dan merupakan pelengkap kepada kehidupan manusia. Setiap apa yang berlaku kembalilah kepada agama Islam, nescaya Islam itu mempunyai kaedah yang tersendiri dan mampu mengubati seluruh penyakit yang ada pada manusia. Selain itu, segala ibadah yang dilakukan dapat meningkatkan keimanan kita kepada Allah dan menjadikan kita seorang hamba yang baik dan soleh. Hal ini semua boleh diperolehi, jika segala ibadah dilakukan dengan sebaik yang mungkin seperti ikhlas dan tanpa ada apa-apa perasaan sebaliknya.




Have you finish reading already?...Well, that fast.....The implementation is depend on us whether to do it or not. Its worth to to give a try. Maybe we could find the happiness in the end.

Hope you all like to visit again later....Till then~

KINA

learn to forgive

Morning everyone..

Forgive or forget? Which one is the better? It depend on the person him or her self to choose which one is better. It might have a different affect and effect, but still its to end up some problems we have. And who are me not to forgive his wrong? I'm just an ordinary girl in this world who loves and want to be loved.

Despite of all his wrong towards me, after several days of thinking...I choose to forgive him. I might feel hurt right now when doing it coz I'm thinking I'm being foolish for taking that decision. But its okay, it might be hurt right now, yet it wouldn't last forever. And its okay to hurt now then after. Because I have forgive and then I wanna forget it.

To him, I'll always keep this love inside my heart even though I won't express it after this. I just don't wanna get hurt anymore. I always been hurt by love. Why is that? Love suppose to be beautiful yet why it won't last long? Well, I don't know either. Maybe something got wrong some where. I just don't realize it.


I would like to thanks to my friends who advice me and give me support. They might get angry with me when I'm crying, laugh at me when I sound stupid, and make jokes so I forget the problems for a while. I might not contact them frequently, but they always there for me when I need. Although some of their words even hurt than what I feel right now.  

So that's the end of my story....maybe for now...Don't know what coming next. I just have to prepare myself, maybe I'll get hurt once again but it doesn't I'm going to die. Life have to be continue whether you like it or not. Its our duty being a human. And each of us have their responsibility to be carried out from Allah.

Till then...


KINA

Friday, July 19, 2013

My Love




I love you my love,
Though you are far away,
I love you my love,
In so many ways.

I do not recall,
I can't tell you when
This love did grow,
Or how did it begin.

But your words reach across,
The miles that do separate,
It's your love I cherish,
And want to celebrate.

I want you to know,
That however we apart,
You always will have,
A special place in my heart.


I want the best place in your heart

I feel very low and lonely,
I think only about you,
I want to share my everything,
Both my laughter and cry,
Because..you are my only refuge.

Seeking your love,
Not by words and tears,
But by my sharing my life with full of love,
I wanna have you around me,
When I am sad & mad,
You are my pal & all.

Oh..my love~
After all these...
Can't you understand that,
I love you and need you,
In my all situations,
All I need is...
"Best Place In Your Heart, Mind & Soul..
LOVE YOU...."


- STELLA-

To my dear love..Allan..


3 word 4 You




Forever and always be...only you....

Not the perfect I one



I only love you....

Beautiful dreams




~will it become true someday?~

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Forever and Always, I will Love you



When I'm with you,
eternity is a step away,
my love continues to grow,
with each passing day.

This treasure of love,
I cherish within my soul,
how much I love you.....
you'll never really know.

You bring a joy to my heart,
I've never felt before,
with each touch of your hand,
I love you more and more.

Whenever we say goodbye,
whenever we part,
know I hold you dearly,
deep inside my heart.

So these seven words,
I pray you hold true,
"Forever And Always,
I Will Love You".

-Chris Engle-






Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Talk the truth even though it hurts

Afternoon u'olzz...

It's been a sunny day today yet my heart still hurts from my beloved action. What do you feel when your love's one lie to you? Would you feel happy? Maybe you are crazy if you happy to be lie like that. I'm just like an action volcanoes ready to burst it lava on the ground hit anything that blocking its way. I'm really mad you know. Cause I HATE people that lie to me even with a tiny little things.



Don't you feel like a fool lying to yourself? Just talk the truth even its hurts. Cause at least your are being honest not just to that person but also to yourself.  Nothing to be worry on going anywhere as your already being honest. If you are lying, you are just like anoles or chameleons hiding themselves from enemy by changing their colors.


I don't know when will my heart heal itself. Maybe takes times...more time I guess. Cause it doesn't happen once but twice or even maybe more than I know. My trust almost gone. Its like a paper once its been scrap it can be flatten but the trace of crumpled still there even you iron the paper. Right?



Sorry that lately I always talk about hurts feelings and how my bf lied to me. Well, the hurts still there and I wish to erase it off but still it there. I'm sorry everyone for babbling like this, next time I'll share some more good stuff.

In here I talk bad about him, yet still I love him so much. I know the truth of his lies but I just keep it in my heart. Its really pain!! I must be crazy am I? No wonder wise man always say 'Love are blinds'. I just don't wanna quarrel even more. Its tiring, exhausting, hurting, and many mores. I feel like I wanna hit my head on to the walls. Thanks God I'm still can think what good and bad to do.



Maybe you there who read this post can give me some wise advice. Two heads are better than one. Right?  As for now, I can't do anything as we are long distance lovers. How could we possibly meets at a time like this? Unless, there's a Doremon Magical Door in my room...hahahaha

In a nutshell, I just try to be as patience as I can (even some time I wrestling with my teddy bears) to face the untold truth. The world is round. Maybe today he done this things to me. Sooner or later, he will face the same problems that he did and maybe it hurts him even more (of course this is not what I hope to be). But that is the law of life. Right?

Til then~

# I would be grateful if you o'lz drop down some useful advice to me..(^_^)

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Problems are Tests from Allah

Assalamualaikum and salam Ramadhan..

How you all have been doing after seven days we were fasting?....There must some changes in our self if not many maybe a little tiny miny things right?...as for me, I have lost 1kg in a week...huhuhuu  when many girls want to lose their weight, I'm trying to increase it..hahaha B'coz I don't wanna be to skinny like now...Ohh, please come back my weight...(*_*!)




Well, that just a side story about my ramadhan stories..(^_^)  Today I'm going to share about problems or in other word 'test'. There's no human in da world that doesn't have problems in their life, right? Everyone of us have their own problems. What makes the differences between us is what kind of problems do each of us face. Different people have a different problem. Your problems might not the same as mine.

So, what do you think of your problems? To me, different problems gives different effect on me. And the worst problems is 'Love Problem'. Yeah, I admit that I face many problems in my relationship and many times I failed it. It end up with breaking the relationship. And I'm kind of a girl that will flush away those who have break up with me cause I don't wanna repeat or remember those hurt moments again.

Love problem is a big problem to me because it related with the heart or feelings. It is intangible where you can't touch with your bare hand or see with your eagle eyes. When my heart hurts, it can sway me out of control. Make me the most laziness girl in da house or become like a bedridden patient in the hospital. Sound drastic right?




Just like now, I've been in misunderstanding, quarrel, and unreliable towards my boyfriend. I don't know what kind of mistakes somewhere between us. I cried for few days since I don't contact him while thinking of what's the wrong. When I try to be friendly, there will be a misunderstanding at the end of it. Urghhhh!! Maybe I almost lost my trust on him.



Anyway, by today I'm listening to some tazkirah from Ustaz Pahrol Mohd Juoi. He talk about 'Allah is bigger than your problems'. Because of his words manage to struck my heart, heavy tears suddenly flows down without control. At that time, I feel how small I'm compare to Allah powers. Some of his words that I remember, 'the problems that we face actually test send by Allah on us to make us remember Him the Almighty.' So, now my heart have open bit by bit. I try to accept that my love problems actually are test given by Allah to me so that I remember Him more.

That Ustaz also said, "Allah will test the people that He loves. And by giving test, He teach to become more strong by facing hurts and difficulties. And by giving Hikmah after the test, He show us His loves". This makes me realize how I have act during my life time. And makes me think that maybe now I feel my boyfriend didn't love me, yet Allah still there for me with His loves.



After I finish listening to the tazkirah, I become a bit more energize than before. I finish folding clothes of my family members which have been delayed almost three days...hahaha My younger sister wonder what's happen to me suddenly become diligent??  Well, that's me. I become very influence by what I see, what I listen and what I feels.

Usually it wont last long...hahaha But I pray that this diligent of my will keeps its momentum in a long time...if not I guess I have to listen to the tazkirah again...(^_^)

Till then, have a bless ramadhan everyone!!


Saturday, July 13, 2013

Melalui dia, aku diuji oleh-Nya

Salam Ramadhan,

Selamat pagi semua...!! Apa khabar awak semua hari ni? Saya harap kamu semua sihat2 hendak nye walaupun bulan ni semua umat Islam berpuasa di siang hari selama sebulan. Dalam bulan ini, segala pahala digandakan dari bulan2 biasa. Jadi jangan lepaskan peluang keemasan ini untuk mengumpulkan sebanyak pahala yang mungkin melalui amal ibadah kita. Ada masa nanti saya share kan apa yang kita boleh lakukan sepanjang bulan yang mulia ini.

Tapi hari ini saya tak nak bercakap tentang tu. Saya nak luahkan perasaaan saya hari ni. Lama-lama pendam kadang - kadang boleh buat diri stress jugak. Memang laaa ada kawan - kawan untuk diluahkan, tapi macam tak puas lak meluahkan dengan dieorg. Masing - masing bagi pendapat yang berlainan. Naik pening otak ni nak hadam, macam lagi susah dari jawab final exam pulak.....huhuhu

Saya akui dalam hubungan tak semua nya indah tetapi saya sayangkan hubungan ni dan nak pertahankan nya seboleh mungkin. Jadi saya harus lah berusaha ke arah itu. Adakala nya saya rasa seperti rezeki tidak memihak pada saya. Saya memang tak suka orang tipu saya laa. Kenapa harus nak menipu? Kan itu salah satu sikap yang tak baik. Kan lebih baik kalau kita jujur. Kejujuran tu umpama sayur yang pahit nak ditelan tapi khasiat nya baik untuk kesihatan. Menipu tu manis je macam gula tapi merosak kan gigi kalau lebih boleh kena kencing manis.

Kadang - kadang saya tak faham kenapa harus dia buat macam tu. Memang laa orang cakap bagi laaa peluang kedua. Tapi ni bukan 1st time dia buat macam ni. Tahun lepas pun pernah buat, ni buat lagi kerja tipu menipu ni. Tak faham betul laaa. Kang saya menipu lagi banyak baru tau....haishhh Nasib laaa akal saya masih boleh fikir waras lagi. Saya masih boleh fikir kalau saya menipu nanti saya jugak yang dapat dosa. Tambah2 kalau orang yang saya tipu tu dapat tahu, mestilah dia kecewa dengan saya kan. Saya tak nak laa macam tu kan.

Kalau pun tak nak saya ganggu masa dia balik cakap je laaa. Saya boleh cuba untuk memahami kan. Memang laaa saya teringin sangat nak jumpa dia. Tapi dah kalau dia xde masa dan tak sempat apelah salah terus terang je macam tu. Saya boleh cuba faham memandang kan keadaan kedua - dua belah kealuarga macam mana kan. Saya rasa banyak lagi benda dia tak suka tapi xnak bagi tahu. Yang diberi hanyalah alasan bermacam bagai. Lagi saya rasa (IIIIIEEEEE!!) macam nak marah je tapi kena control jugak. Kalau tak control habis2.



Saya tak suka bila saya tak tahu ape dia tak suka saya buat. Lagi rasa janggal bila yang bagi tahu tu kawan sendiri....hadoi2     Rasa macam...tak pandai lak nak jelas kan macam mana....haishhh  kalau bagitau sendiri kan senang, ni bagi alasan tu bagi alasan ni. Kalau xsuka cakap je laa terang2. Ni nak selindung2 lagi di balik bayang-bayang. Fuhh...jap nak berhenti.....puasa2 ni kena sabar banyak2...(*_*!)

Hurmmm......setelah dinasihatkan oleh kawan2, saya buat keputusan untuk mendiamkan diri seketika. Nak bagi ruang kat dia. Dia nak buat ape lantak lah. Saya malas nak jadi busy body buat seketika. Saya tak nafikan memang saya busybody nak tau semua yang dia buat. Mungkin sebab tu lumrah seorang perempuan yang mempunyai sifat concern dalam diri. Agak nye sifat concern saya terlebih pulak kot samapai dia sesak nafas.

Saya bukan apa, cuma nak dia rasa yang saya sentiasa ada untuk dia dan tak pernah nak tinggalkan dia apetah lagi nak menduakan dia.  Mungkin secara fizikal nya jarak kami jauh, tapi saya nak dia tau saya sentiasa dekat dengan dia untuk temani dia walaupun bukan secara fizikal. Mungkin dia tak paham2 tu kot walaupun saya dah terangkan banyak kali....hurmmm

Saya masih terkilan sebab da tak bagi tahu perkara yang dia rasa kurang selesa dengan saya tapi saya masih lagi buat perkara tu. Sebab nya saya memang tak tahu langsung yang dia tak suka. Patut laaa kalau saya buat macam tu je mesti dia macam nak berdalih2. Kenapa lah otak saya ni lembab sangat nak paham padahal dalih2 dia tu laa signal nya??....Hissshh....lembab btol laaa otak saya ni...urrgggg!



Pabila berfikir sejenak, saya baru terasa mungkin melalui dia, saya diuji oleh-Nya. Selama ni saya tak perasan pulak. Tapi masa saya tengah sedih2 dan kecewa disebabkan dia saya cuba dengar rakaman motivasi dari Ustaz Pahrol Mohammas Juoi. Dalam banyak2 percakapan dia saya tertarik dengan ayat "melalui dia anda diuji oleh Allah". Ayat tu terus menusuk ke kalbu seolah - olah terkena pada diri sendiri.

Bila dikenang balik, saya selalu jugak gaduh dengan dia, salah faham dengan dia, terasa hati dengan dia, rasa macam dia tak layan saya laa, rasa macam dia dah berubah laa, rasa macam dia menjauhkan diri dari saya laaa dan macam2 lagi. Otak saya baru mula berfikir, mungkin itu ujian yang Allah cuba berikan pada saya. Allah nak tengok macam mana saya berhadapan dengan ujian tu. Secara logik nya, tentulah korang2 yang baca post ni rasa ujian tu simple gilerr kan, macam senang gilerr xde cabaran langsung.

Hakikat nya, bila kena pada saya jadi macam saya ni tak tentu arah...(v_v)   saya nangis, kerja jadi tak tentu hala, rasa lemah semangat, bila buat kerje sempat termenung, kerje jadi lambat, banyak baring sambil peluk dua ekor bears kesayangan saya, dan aktiviti2 yang banyak buang masa dan bertambah tidak berfaedah langsung. Hadoi2....ujian kecik tapi impak nya besar betol. Rapuh nya jiwa saya ni, patut laaa daa banyak kali putus cinta.

Dalam ruang waktu saya kesedihan dan kekecewaan bila mengetahui suatu kebenaran tapi dia sehabis boleh menyembunyikan...dengan kedatangan bulan ramadhan yang mulia ini....saya cuba jugak gagah kan diri untuk mengubati kelukaan dalam hati. Bunyi seperti saya menyalahkan dia tapi sebenarnya jauh dalam sudut hati saya, saya maafkan kesalahan dia. Mungkin dia ada sebab dia sendiri kenapa dia cuba menyembunyikan dari saya. Mungkin sebab tu ada kebaikan nya, jadi takpelah saya maafkan dia. Lagipun saya sayang sangat dia...<3 p="">


So ape saya buat?...hihihihi mungking korang boleh cuba lah kalau2 korang kecewa kan, sedih ke ape ke....lagipun semua orang ada cara tersendiri untuk mengubati hati masing - masing. Untuk saya pulak, saya pilih cara yang menenangkan, yang tidak akan timbul prasangka atau gosip2 bila saya membuat nya mahupun membuat orang lain terasa hati dengan saya, malahan tiada istilah membazir waktu plus bertambah pahala adalaa.....kikikiki

          1) Mendengar ceramah motivasi

             Memandangkan bulan ramadhan, jadi sayan dengar laaa ceramah motivasi. Kalau dulu time bukan waktu ramadhan saya suka dengar lagu korea sepanjang2 hari. Tapi saya daa buat experiment, kalau dengar lagu tu waktu dengar tu je rasa ok, bila daa habis battery nnt rasa down balik. Berbeza bila dengar ceramah motivasi, ia membuatkan saya berfikir dan merenung balik apa yang berlaku yang menyebabkan kesedihan say tu. Dengan itu, otak saya akan terbuka luas mencuba untuk korek2 bukan stakat permasalahannya, tapi juga penyelesaian kepada masalah tersebut. Motivator kegemaran saya adalah Ustaz Pahrol Mohammad Juoi dan Prof. Dr. Muhaya. Suka sangat saya dengar sebab ustaz tu kaya dengan bahasa dan analogi yang boleh masuk ke akal minda malahan menusuk kalbu...kikiki Prof. tu pulak membuatkan saya terpesona dengan gaya percakapan nye yang lemah lembut tetapi penuh makna.

         2) Membaca buku motivasi

             Sememang nye buku kegemaran saya adalah buku motivasi. Memang tak dinafikan atas meja saya penuh dengan buku motivasi dan kebanyakan buku motivasi kat rak bilik belajar tu ada yang saya pilih dan ada yang saya beli sendiri. Sampaikan adik2 saya pun hairan kenapa laaa saya suka sangat dengan buku motivasi sebab pada dieorg buku motivasi tu mengantok kan. Diorang tu suka cerita2 jadi sah2 laaa dieorg tu kaki novel dalam rumah ni. Macam nak roboh lak rak tu penuh dengan novel dieorg tu...ish3  Ok balik semula pasal buku motivasi tadi, buku2 saya kebanyakan nye hasil penulisan motivator kegemaran saya..(^_^)  Ohh, tak lupa juga buku yang dihadiahkan oleh dia "smile and enjoy your life" memang banyak mengubat hati saya. Dia memang faham yang saya ni "congek"..(love you so much my dear!!)



        3) Membaca Al-Quran

            Tidak dapat dinafikan lagi kebenaran nya memang nyata. Dengan membaca Al-quran hati menjadi tenang! Kadang - kadang tanpa saya dapat kawal, air mata berlinangan tatkala membaca Al-quran ketika saya kesedihan. Memang laaa masa tu saya sedihkan tapi daa berhenti menangis. Tengah2 baca Al-quran tu, air mata laju macam air terjun sebak nye menusuk kalbu....huhuhu Kalau korang nak rasa, cer try baca time korang sedih2....sentap beb!!

Haaaaa......hari pun daa mkin terang...punye laaa dari subuh tadi mencoret luahan hati baru ni nak habis....huhuhuhu okeylah, next time saya akan cuba share something yang lebih informatif untuk korang ye...(^_^)


#thanks for viewing this post...till then...bubye!!