Friday, February 3, 2012

dedicated to you

The you I love, is leaving me
Though I haven't yet said a word in my defense

The you I love, says wants to be happy
I haven't been able to say a word in pleading

Always, looking at your sad expression
I neglected you under the pretense of being busy
Because I was a wretched fool

I didn't know then
Because I didn't know how to love
Because I didn't know how to hold you warmly

That a soft heart
Would collapse and fall, I didn't know
And without thinking, I turned away from you

I didn't know then
Because I didn't know how to love
I came to leave you alone

Even saying sorry seems awkward
So I've passed you by again, pretending not to know

Even if you meet someone else,
He'll probably be better than me
Because of this, I'm sending you away

Even if I meet someone else,
It'll never be you
Because of this, I can't erase you

All that's left is a sorry heart
All I have left to say is goodbye
Even though my heart knows

I didn't know then
Because I didn't know how to love
Because I didn't know how to hold you warmly

That a soft heart
Would collapse and fall, I didn't know
And without thinking, I turned away from you

I didn't know then
Because I didn't know how to love
I came to leave you alone

Even saying sorry seems awkward
So I've passed you by again, pretending not to know

Even though I know now
Even though I know how to love
The person whom I wish to love isn't here

A love that has given only tears
I hope everyone will forget and be happy at all costs
Everyday, while crying, all I do is pray

That in my next life, I won't have a young love
When I really understand love,
If I meet you then, I'll take you into my arms
So that we'll only have happy dreams

Even though now, I'm sending you away

Because I Don't Know How To Love


fadzlee...there nothing else i can say.......what contain in this song,would be my last word.......thanks for everythings

Thursday, February 2, 2012

finally i let you go



what a day.........its raining out there......with heavy rains.........its like the weather know exactly how i feel today............yup, i'm really sad........i never thought it could be end like this...........all my waiting for all this years n past is disappear just like that..........i'm regret that it happen to be ended this way..........i still remember my wish a year n a half ago.......i wish to meet you before i'm going back to my hometown.........i guess, that wish will never come true........as i thought......

i feel so sorry about you........i'm sorry that i didn't choose to love you.......its been the third time a guess......since the last two years.........i know..........we have planning that someday, we will be married........but i have destroy all the plan.........cause i fall in love with him......i'm so sorry.......

why would it happen to be the same things?????..........its been my third relationship now since we become friend........yet i still didn't choose to love you...........i also dont know why........now i have let you go........it makes me really sad.......why i should be sad?........i dont know........the tears just burst every time my head start thinking about you........i'm stop crying for a while coz i dont want to make him worry about me..........still when i'm alone taking my bath, my tears suddenly burst again......

please help me..........help me forget about u.......i feel really guilty for what i have dont.........i'm sorry coz i cant be as strong as you.......i didn't take care of my heart carefully.......i'm trying, but my heart seems cant hold any longer.......i always warn u about it.........but u thought i'm joking around, only to make u worried..........all the things i've complain about u being far, about u who rarely contact me.........i really mean it.......coz i know i dont have that strong heart.........

i was hoping u would call me when you come back to malaysia.........but you didn't......you promise me that we would have our first meeting n date when you come back to malaysia..........you promise me that you will never go far away from me again.......you promise that i will never be alone..........i was waiting for that..........i hold my feeling towards my bestfriend, coz at that time what i know he still have a girlfriend n i was waiting for you to come back......yet where are you????

you said you have been in hospital for 2 weeks............why didn't you tell me????...........why you always keep things hidden from me?.........i want to know you..........i want to know every things about you.........but its too late now.......have let my hands go........i will never turn back........even if this relationship i have now, will have the same ending as before........saya redha je........its Allah decision all this turn to be this way........i accept it with open heart.......

if we ever been born again, i hope u r the first one i meet........


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

i'm stress

its afternoon right now......n i still sitting in the room alone.........i don't feel like wanna go anywhere.......coz i wanna be alone for a moment......now i have 2 place to go for my practical training......1 is in shah alam n another 1 is in kuala terengganu.....i don't know which 1 to choose......yet i have this uncomfortable feeling of doing LI in shah alam.........why????.......i also don't know the reasons.......its juz a feeling that keep playing in my mind n heart.........

to be truth, i actually wanna do my training in kuala terengganu........even though its juz a small company n a bit country-side, i feel pleased to do so........maybe because i like greenery n things related to that........besides, they already have accommodation which is really near to workplace as it takes only 5 mins of walks..........but they don't give any allowance for students.....

hmmmm..........talking about the place in shah alam............hmmmmmmmmm ........actually.........i dont wanna do there.......i dont have the feeling to do so..........they dont have accommodation,which probably i'll live in auntie house........they dont give allowance.......so i'm thinking about that.....if i need to use a car to go to work,my money only can last for 2 month i thinks......or maybe juz 1 n 1/2..........fuhhhhh plus.....i dont like to live in a big city......

okey2.......for the love ones...........coz of my parents decision n i wanna be near to my boyfriend........i'm now considering it.......to do LI in shah alam.........hmmmmmmm..........i need to thinks deeply........now i think i wanna cry.........can i?.......of course i can.....coz no one will know........accept my mighty love....ALLAH.......i'm praying to you Allah...pleased give me inspiration n help me to make the decision......at this time.....I really2 need your help......