Monday, December 31, 2012

Ending the year of 2012

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone !!   (^_^)

Today is the last day for 2012 and I'm so touch to write a post on this day. Never I expect the last day of this year has come already. Guess...time is really moving so fast without me noticing it. There were so much things and events happen in this year, I couldn't express how I feel today flashing back the memories along this year. Too much to be story about. Lots of surprise, emotions, experiences and so on I faced during this whole year.

Even human can't stop the time and it always running and continue to run. If we not run with the beat, the we shall left behind. I wont tell any story tonight because it will takes hours for me to time it all. Lets just keep it as our past memories okey.

To everyone who visit and view my blog along this year, I wanna thanks to you all because it was very kind of you to come here in this simple dimple blog....hehehehe I wish everybody happy end of the year 2012!! also happy new year 2013!!

What ever you aim for this new year, make sure you try so hard and smart to achieve it. Be sure to achieve the target before the year ended....hihihi  so, lets say good bye then everyone....see you next year (even it is tomorrow...;p )

Happy New Year..(^_^)

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Rahsia Perindu

Assalamualaikum,

Good morning everyone....(^_^)

This morning I have finish a novel that I randomly pick yesterday morning on the on the shelf in study room. Its my little sister novel, and she warn me to take care of it seriously. Ohh, such warning really feel annoying in my head. Well, I have to take care of it very well as requested....huhuhu

So, in just one night + a short morning I have finish reading the novel. It's really feel creepy to read the thriller novel at night when you the only who still not sleeping....(*_*!)  This novel was very interesting that makes you wanna continually read it to know what actually happen next. It keeps me reading until I lost the track of time. It's as expected from the No.1 thriller novelist in Malaysia. My favorited novelist, RAMLEE AWANG MURSYID.

Here is a glimpse of the novel that have captured my mind.


What do you think?....Believe me! The actual story is not like what it stated in the summary at the back of the book. At first I believe it as the summary says. After I have read the whole story, it clear that the writer have done well in twisted the readers mind. Congrate to you Mr.Novalist! (^_^)

This story have spark my mind to rethink about all the action that I have done in my life time. It's  beautifully show us how LOVE is so powerful as it can makes human do what ever they feel right to do as long as they have their love.

Nevertheless, human can be blind by love among humans. As a Muslim  the most wanted love and pure love is the love to and from ALLAH the Mighty. As long as the 'iman' is in our heart, we have to love ALLAH wholeheartedly. Believe it! When we love ALLAH, all the love that bring to Him will come to us. Because ALLAH knows everything that we never ever think about it.

To all Muslim readers, lets us together to always remember ALLAH in our life. Always place Him in our heart so that we will have peace in our live.

And to you who have view this post, I recommended you to read this novel. Try to experience the unexpected. Lets support our local product. Malaysia Boleh!!

That all for now. Till then...see ya~   (^_^)

Friday, December 14, 2012

My Desire Boots

Assalamualaikum,

Good morning everyone.!! How are you today?. Hope everyone in a good health and happy always. This morning I was searching for my little sister present since today is her birthday. I have promise her to buy a korean style sweater for her. So I Google up for the pretty, nice and affordable for me to buy. But....I end up with searching for a nice women boots...hahaha (^_^)

Who's out there have taken by the korean fever? Well, it's also including me...hohoho But I'm not that 'fanatic' person yet I still like their style, especially winter style since its have larger shirts and not too tight. Today I'm wanna share the picture of boot that I really like. How I really wish to have them!!...hohoho


I like this one which suitable for outdoors  It's funky and stylish. That why I like its so much. Aiming this and set the target. Yeah2!!


This wintry look is so eye capturing. It's really simple and look so comfortable. I wish I have one pair of this so that I can used it frequently....love2!!


This one look more matured. The brownish color is so warm and lovely. Imagine that it furnish my feet with this boots. I wanntttttt!!!


This one is so cute. It make me look lady like without forgetting my cute element....hahaha Come on cutie boots, come to me....(^_^)

So, what do you guys think about these boots? Dont you feel like you want at least a pair of it? Hurmmm, when can I get those?.....I wish it's doesn't take long. I dont have enough money to buy one. Is anyone out there want to buy for me? It would be my pleasure....(^_^)

Ohh! Almost forgot. To anyone out there who are interested with these boots or any korean style fashion, you can find it in here In Fashion Wholesale . They sell it in wholesale price you know, but of course in $ . So, have a happy searching everyone. See ya later~ (^_^)

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Awkward Writing

Assalamualaikum,

How are you?....Its been such a busy week i guess since i haven't update my blog. The truth is it feels awkward to write something in this blog. Maybe because its been such a long time since I have not updating this blog.


I want to make it more simple than before but not too blank. Kind of forget everything about blogging though. I guess I have to start learning it from beginning plus blogger has changed it appearance too. Well I think that is only for today as warm up for me. Still, this blog will talk about me, my experience and my thought of course.

I'm so sorry if the readers of this blog feel kinda of boring with this blog since it always talk about me instead. Well, its an honour for all of you who have visited my blog. Thanks a lot and I'm really appreciate your visits.
Till then you guys. Adioszz~


KINA

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Lets start again~

Its been awhile since my last post... I feel sorry for this blog as its only functional when I had a broken heart. Also today, my heart broke again because of my fluctuated love. OMG
Well, that's the thing that I really wish to avoid. I don't wanna be controlled by my own love situation. I wannabe the controller of my own life. Not being affected by environment but the environment around affected by me. That is what I wanna achive in my lifetime.
So dear everyone, lets start our new life again. Lets plan for a better future. Dont let others controlled us. Lets put on the cintroller and push the start button. Let the game BEGIN~

Thursday, June 21, 2012

I'm not a good storyteller

Good day everyone!   (^_^)


Its been a while since my last post yet can't remember when it is. How are you all have been right now?  Hope everything is always in  a fine way. As usual, when i'm posting something, that means there something in my mind playing around the head. Yeah, wish to get rid of it but i guess wanna share here as it can help me   release my heavy thought.

DREAMS....

Why we always have dreams? They say dreams are playground during our sleep. I always have dreams every night and I like to share it with my boyfriend but the point is....I'm not a good STORYTELLER!!
That why every time I try to share the story of my dreams,  he juz smile and silent. I don't know if he gets what i\I'm trying to tell in my story.


Like today, I think my dream is very interesting and I try to share it with him. But he is too busy to messaging I don't know who rather than listen to my story. When I as again, he questioning me again, "what story is it?" OMG....sabor  je laa.....HUHUHUHU




I wish I could be like shaherazard....a princess who can tell story up until the morning. She is a good story teller. Well, she also learn from a wise old storyteller from the bazaar. How I really wish I could be like them, then maybe my beloved boyfriend will listening to my story intensely.  Well until then, see you all in another post ok. Daaa~~


KINA   (^_^)

Friday, March 2, 2012

dedicated to love Mr. Toad






Lyrics (English)

when i look at you my face gets red
when i see you my heart goes thump thump
i talk with shyness like a kid
when i look at you i just smile out of nowhere
like a fool I keep doing that
I think love came to me

You’re the president of my heart
You’re my chests’ star embroider
I’m Genie for you girl
You make me stop breathing
whatever you want
because i love you
There’s no reason for my love you know

you’re a darling
you’re more beautiful than the stars above in the night sky
the shining thing deep inside my heart
my own love light

i love you darling
give me light next to me whenever
every night i look at you
and you’re beautiful even when i look at you
you’re my love light

when i see you i feel like im up on the clouds
it may be immature but i keep doing this
i tihnk love came to me

you’re a darling
you’re more beautiful than the stars above in the night sky
the shining thing deep inside my heart
my very own love light

i love you darling
give me light next to me whenever
every night i look at you
and you’re beautiful even when i look at you
you’re my love light

you’re lovely
you’re mroe blinding than the sunlight up in that sky
you shine the dark places inside my heart
my own love light

i love you lovely
even if i close my eyes i see you
looking at you like this
you’re still blinding even when i see you
you’re my love light

Lyrics (Romanized)

geuh del bo myun ul gool ee bbal geh jigo
geuh del bo myun ga seum ee doogeun doogeun
ah ee chuh lum soo joob geh mal hago
geuh del bo myun gwen siri oo seum ee na
babo chuh rum ja ggoo man geuh leh
ama neh geh sarang ee on gut gatah

geuh deh neun neh ma eum sok eh president
neh ga seum eh byul soo noh ji
i’m genie for you girl
neh soom eul mut geh haji
geuh deh ga won ha neun gun da
nuh reul sarang ha ni gga
neh sarang eh ee yoo neun ub jan ah you know

geuh deh neun darling
bam ha neuk byul bit boda ah reum da wuh yo
neh mam sok gip peun got eh suh ban jjak guh li neun
naman eh sarang beet

geuh del reul sarang heyo darling
uhn jena neh gyut hae suh beet cheul neh joyo
meh il bam bara bogo
bara bwado ah reum dawuh yo
geuh den nah eh sarang beet

geuh del leul bo myun goo reum eul na neun gi boon
yoo chi heh do ja ggoo man geuh leh ama neh geh sarang ee on gun ga bwah

geuh deh neun darling
bam ha neuk byul bit boda ah reum da wuh yo
neh mam sok gip peun got eh suh ban jjak guh li neun
naman eh sarang beet

geuh del reul sarang heyo darling
uhn jena neh gyut hae suh beet cheul neh joyo
meh il bam bara bogo
bara bwado ah reum dawuh yo
geuh den nah eh sarang beet

geuh deh neun lovely
juh ha neul het sal boda noon ee boo shuh yo
neh mam sok uh doon got gga ji bal geh bee choo neun
naman eh sarang beet

geuh del leul sarang heyo lovely
doo noon eul gam ah bwado geuh deh bo yuh yo
ee luh geh bara bora go
bara bwado noon ee boo shuh yo
geuh den nah eh sarang beet.

Friday, February 3, 2012

dedicated to you

The you I love, is leaving me
Though I haven't yet said a word in my defense

The you I love, says wants to be happy
I haven't been able to say a word in pleading

Always, looking at your sad expression
I neglected you under the pretense of being busy
Because I was a wretched fool

I didn't know then
Because I didn't know how to love
Because I didn't know how to hold you warmly

That a soft heart
Would collapse and fall, I didn't know
And without thinking, I turned away from you

I didn't know then
Because I didn't know how to love
I came to leave you alone

Even saying sorry seems awkward
So I've passed you by again, pretending not to know

Even if you meet someone else,
He'll probably be better than me
Because of this, I'm sending you away

Even if I meet someone else,
It'll never be you
Because of this, I can't erase you

All that's left is a sorry heart
All I have left to say is goodbye
Even though my heart knows

I didn't know then
Because I didn't know how to love
Because I didn't know how to hold you warmly

That a soft heart
Would collapse and fall, I didn't know
And without thinking, I turned away from you

I didn't know then
Because I didn't know how to love
I came to leave you alone

Even saying sorry seems awkward
So I've passed you by again, pretending not to know

Even though I know now
Even though I know how to love
The person whom I wish to love isn't here

A love that has given only tears
I hope everyone will forget and be happy at all costs
Everyday, while crying, all I do is pray

That in my next life, I won't have a young love
When I really understand love,
If I meet you then, I'll take you into my arms
So that we'll only have happy dreams

Even though now, I'm sending you away

Because I Don't Know How To Love


fadzlee...there nothing else i can say.......what contain in this song,would be my last word.......thanks for everythings

Thursday, February 2, 2012

finally i let you go



what a day.........its raining out there......with heavy rains.........its like the weather know exactly how i feel today............yup, i'm really sad........i never thought it could be end like this...........all my waiting for all this years n past is disappear just like that..........i'm regret that it happen to be ended this way..........i still remember my wish a year n a half ago.......i wish to meet you before i'm going back to my hometown.........i guess, that wish will never come true........as i thought......

i feel so sorry about you........i'm sorry that i didn't choose to love you.......its been the third time a guess......since the last two years.........i know..........we have planning that someday, we will be married........but i have destroy all the plan.........cause i fall in love with him......i'm so sorry.......

why would it happen to be the same things?????..........its been my third relationship now since we become friend........yet i still didn't choose to love you...........i also dont know why........now i have let you go........it makes me really sad.......why i should be sad?........i dont know........the tears just burst every time my head start thinking about you........i'm stop crying for a while coz i dont want to make him worry about me..........still when i'm alone taking my bath, my tears suddenly burst again......

please help me..........help me forget about u.......i feel really guilty for what i have dont.........i'm sorry coz i cant be as strong as you.......i didn't take care of my heart carefully.......i'm trying, but my heart seems cant hold any longer.......i always warn u about it.........but u thought i'm joking around, only to make u worried..........all the things i've complain about u being far, about u who rarely contact me.........i really mean it.......coz i know i dont have that strong heart.........

i was hoping u would call me when you come back to malaysia.........but you didn't......you promise me that we would have our first meeting n date when you come back to malaysia..........you promise me that you will never go far away from me again.......you promise that i will never be alone..........i was waiting for that..........i hold my feeling towards my bestfriend, coz at that time what i know he still have a girlfriend n i was waiting for you to come back......yet where are you????

you said you have been in hospital for 2 weeks............why didn't you tell me????...........why you always keep things hidden from me?.........i want to know you..........i want to know every things about you.........but its too late now.......have let my hands go........i will never turn back........even if this relationship i have now, will have the same ending as before........saya redha je........its Allah decision all this turn to be this way........i accept it with open heart.......

if we ever been born again, i hope u r the first one i meet........


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

i'm stress

its afternoon right now......n i still sitting in the room alone.........i don't feel like wanna go anywhere.......coz i wanna be alone for a moment......now i have 2 place to go for my practical training......1 is in shah alam n another 1 is in kuala terengganu.....i don't know which 1 to choose......yet i have this uncomfortable feeling of doing LI in shah alam.........why????.......i also don't know the reasons.......its juz a feeling that keep playing in my mind n heart.........

to be truth, i actually wanna do my training in kuala terengganu........even though its juz a small company n a bit country-side, i feel pleased to do so........maybe because i like greenery n things related to that........besides, they already have accommodation which is really near to workplace as it takes only 5 mins of walks..........but they don't give any allowance for students.....

hmmmm..........talking about the place in shah alam............hmmmmmmmmm ........actually.........i dont wanna do there.......i dont have the feeling to do so..........they dont have accommodation,which probably i'll live in auntie house........they dont give allowance.......so i'm thinking about that.....if i need to use a car to go to work,my money only can last for 2 month i thinks......or maybe juz 1 n 1/2..........fuhhhhh plus.....i dont like to live in a big city......

okey2.......for the love ones...........coz of my parents decision n i wanna be near to my boyfriend........i'm now considering it.......to do LI in shah alam.........hmmmmmmm..........i need to thinks deeply........now i think i wanna cry.........can i?.......of course i can.....coz no one will know........accept my mighty love....ALLAH.......i'm praying to you Allah...pleased give me inspiration n help me to make the decision......at this time.....I really2 need your help......

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

for the person that i waited

to my friend mr.z,

how r u today?.....i hope u would be fine as always.....its been half a month since u r coming back to malaysia......everything have change.......including me.........i've broke the promise that i made to you.........i know its my wrong coz i cant stand to wait for soo long........its not my intention to do so......yet i cant deny that i've fall for someone else.......its true now thats the fact.....

now i have a boyfriend.......

mr.z, after all this time i have waited for u........now i'm release u from me........u r free to find your own destiny.......its not tie together with me now.......coz i've someone else........i believe u can fine a girl far more better than me.........who can wait u for the rest of her life.......i'm regret that i didn't take care of my heart very well.........i'm careless.....let it alone till i didn't realize that i've fall in love with someone..........

to u mr.z, thanks a lot for being my friend for more than 3years now.........even though we never meet each other, i have the instinct that u r such a nice guy......n someday u shall found a nice girl for u.........thanks a lot for being patient with me for all this long......even though i always use such hard words towards u, u still can be patient with me....

so i guess this is the end.........it should be the end of our waiting time.......after this there shall be no more..........i shall not seek u either from now on........i feel really sad to say it.....but this is good bye.......thanks for all the advise u have give to me........u teach me to be patient with the one we love......since starting to know u, i cant forget about u n cant even reach u.........

i think its better this way........i maybe cry right now.......crying becoz of u.......n this should be the last.......coz i have cry because of u for so many time.........i hope after this i can forget about u........i want to erase the memory i have about u........i want to delete it all.......not left even a piece of memory about u.......

mr.z, please forgive me.....n please forget about me.......its been clear now.......we will never meet each other forever.........please find ur life.........i'm so sorry.........i've to end this.........

mr.z..........goodbye

Monday, January 16, 2012

Good Afternoon everyone,

How are you today????.............its been sunny here but raining in my heart........i wish i know why but yet i can figure it out the reasons that lies behind all this feelings..........its like all feeling are mix together............the happiness, sadness, nervous, afraid or even stress..............as usually to overcome all this mixing stuff my solutions is CRYING..........cause i believe by crying it can help me release all the burden that have fill my heart.......isn't kind of strange if you suddenly crying while you don't know the reasons why?

I'm crying here but someone don't want to cry........cause that person feeling bad and want me to smile again............i wish i could say that by crying that is my best solution...........even though it look like a looser, yet it really give me a big relieve deep inside my here........maybe because I'm that fragile, that why i tend to take this simple solution............hohohoho

now i have finish crying for all the things i have worried about.............there are many things that i worried that makes me keep thinking about it..........let say the things is from the half year ago........starting with waiting for a hope that i don't know the future........which is related to my feelings towards someone............that feeling........there time when i feel like i wanna give up everything about it........cause waiting is killing...........now the things i waited for so long have return.........yet i don't know what should i do...........why should it return to me now as it have leave me behind for so long?

the other things that worried me have to be the place that i should do my industrial training..............i have choose where i wanna go but my parents don't want me to go that far........why are they so worried about me?....can't they give me a chance for me to choose my own path?........i have followed their decision since i' a kid............everything i do is what they want.......then,when should be the time for me to do what i wanna do?

next is about the coming soon exam...........this exam is killing me i guess........cause its so hard hard that i feel like i wanna give up........where is my mission on this study?...has it gone already?.........its seems to be not like me.........where is my egoist that help me to continue all this challenge?.........i thinks i need to go back to what i have said before.......which i swear i would be the very best among the guys who have hurt my heart and leaving just like that........that swear, i shall fulfill it no matter what!!

besides all this, my stress today could be because i have been too long apart from my family.......i cant lie to myself that really miss them all very much indeed...........i wish i can go home right now......hugging all my family.........cooking for them and laughing with them.........thinking about that.......when will i'm able to go back home?

lastly, i have try to think about my current situations........which a conflict came across as there is an overlap between friend and love with the mind set that sealed with powerful words.......its like i have dont a sin towards what i call friendship..........i wish i could know how the future are like........either i'm taking the right path or not.........i really afraid if i have took the wrong path........i dont wanna lose a friend,yet dont wanna miss the love either.......so what should i do?


so i whisper to myself.....



~~soon the time will tell, be a brave girl with full of courage~~

Sunday, January 15, 2012

which one??

Its 12.00a.m right now when i'm writing this post......i don't know what my feeling right now....but i wanna express it here since i'll feel relieved if i wrote it down.......this week is the "shock week ever" for this semester.......cause something that i didn't expected to happen has already happen to me right now......it is so call 'lovey dovey' things happening around me........yet what i'm suppose to do then...i don't know either i'm ready for it or not.....cause I've too much experiencing heart breaking and ended my relationship in the end.........

for all the time i have meet him, since the day that i really sad cause i just broke up with my boyfriend, he comes with his friends giving me good advice n support me to continue my life as usual.......at that time, i feel really glad that even though my boyfriend had thrown away all my love yet there's still friends who back up me and cheering me up......he also so there being like my guardian angel since then........he has become my best friend forever (BFF).......and i'm glad to have friend like him.....there's also time when my heart feel like falling toward him yet its been blocked by a powerful sentences.....

in my though, to fall for him shall be dangerous cause i know he already have someone that he truly love.....so taking him means that i snatch away other people happiness......i don't wanna do that as i already experienced it.......its really hurt when someone steal away your happiness......cause words becomes so powerful, it have sealed all the feeling deep inside my heart......by that i'm able to maintain the BFF relationship for few months and so after.......but now its like world have turn up side down........as he have express the truth to me.......am i able to accept it?

even i don't know what to say.....its like things around me happen to be faster then what i expected.....and even i didn't expect that it could turn that way either........i don't know what my feeling right now........don't know either what to respond or to tell.........cause my heart, it still seal with those strong words........once in a while, i'm thinking is't really his true feeling@it just happen to be as fulfillment of a broken heart???.......as what i have experienced before.........hmmm, then what happen if suddenly his ex girl wanna be with him back??then what will happen to me??.......am i gonna be left alone again as what my previous boyfriends have done to me?

all these makes me think twice even trice to accept this confession of a friend.........i wanna learn from my mistakes and frustration from all my previous relationship........i don't wanna the same things to happen again to me.........i really wish he could understand what challenges lies beyond the future.........i can feel it would be really tough one as my instinct told me so.......cause i'm not searching for a boyfriend but i'm searching for a future husband.............if he never thought of that or even considering it, what is the use of continuing such feeling???........i'm not that strong enough in my own religious....yet i wish that he fall for me not just about who i'm.......but also about the religious that i believe in........i want him to not just love me, but also love Allah.......loving Allah full heartedly as he love me full heartedly....i wish to believe that all this happen because its Allah decision.........because who's gonna be my soul partner is lies on the hand of Allah....

beside all this that happen in front of my own eyes......there's also another big things happen in my mind and heart........its about the person that i have been waiting for.............knowing that guy for about 3 years yet still never have the chance to meet him........before things between me n my 'friend' evaluate, my heart was hoping to some other so call virtual friend which I've known for 3 years.........even we have be friend for 3 years, the feeling just become clear in early of last year..........i've been thinking about this guy for several times, but my mind seems to questioning me back.....should i or shouldn't i believe for that kind of virtual feeling????........cause i never meet this person so how could i able to judge him??

that questions have playing in my mind for almost a year and a half........the feeling sometimes come and sometimes go........as what he usually do.....even though he have express his feeling toward me and even invite me for a marriage.........i still don't know what to do???.....either its a good decision or not........cause i never believe in this kind of virtual love........besides, if he really love me, why cant he come and find me here and express his feeling???........as experienced teach me, now i would hardly believe in words............even he say i miss u @ i love you, he never even try to find me here........he always missing around........

in the beginning he always contact me but since early of last year, its like lose in space........sometimes he on9 and sometime he's not.....contact me like once in a month or two.........its getting even harder since he continue study in UK......i don't even know that until his little sister tell me so.......why wont he tell me that time?.......that makes me fed up of waiting cause he doesn't seems to be that serious..........when its been three month without any news of him, i feel like i wanna give up on him....... don't wanna wait anymore and want to forget about everything him.......

unexpectedly, he contact in the end of last year.....about a month and a half ago, saying that he would come back to Malaysia.........please wait for him.......i feel very happy at first cause all my waiting through this several year should come to end if i meet him.......but now i don't know.........its like i was losing something..........are my heart really have been steal by someone else???..........even i don't know as i ask my heart, what actually do you want????........my heart only answer two words....that is FUTURE HUSBAND........but who could it be??........either it is one of them@it might be somebody else..........

today already 16jan........that guy said that his flight shall be on 15jan........is he already come back to Malaysia???..........even i don't know cause he never ring me for more than half year now...........he is coming back but why am i not that excited like last year??..........what i'm thinking tonite is i wish to believe in the person that i holding hand with right now.......to my self i whisper.......


~~will my love curse be repeated for the 6th time??????~~