Thursday, April 7, 2011

soo sad in da hot weather

its hot weather right now......n my head also getting hot coz juz wake up n directly continue my revision......soo dizzy and drunk......huhuhu in a time like diz, i lost my spirit........my vigor drop drastically like a waterfall i guest.......that why i stop reading and start typing a post in my blog....

i miss oppa soo much.......how i really miss oppa soo much at this time........very2 deeply in my heart........but i can't do anything.......i don't wanna disturb him coz i know he really depress at this time......he didn't even contact me once..........i'm soo sad........how i'm soo wanna cheer him up.......but i'm afraid that i'll only add pressure to him.....

i really2 wanna say to oppa that i miss u soooooo muccchhhhhhhhhhh.............i feel like i wanna cry soo hard till i couln't cry anymore..........i fell soo weak as if i couldn't even walk..........even to stand up........my source of inspiration n spirit seems very far from me.........as if i'm alone in this world......please come back.......i'm begging to you from the bottom of my heart.......

everyone getting pressure even more this week...........even little thing could give pressure.....then big thing?......of coz the impact even bigger........my heart seems to be disordered n mixing around with soo much feeling......stress, sad, nervous, longing, calm, sleepy, drunk, dizzy, confius, doubt, unsure n many more............it mix like ABC.......

some thought suddenly across my mind........this quote i would like to dedicated to my oppa.......oppa, i know u r strong and u could face all the problems that lies in front of u........a wise man once said, " At the time that we fell soo weak as if we couldn't not stand and want to give up, actually we are very close to our success. What we need to do is to increase and improve a little bit more effort until we use up all our energy and feel satisfied and pleased with the effort that we have done."

if i wanna someone to be strong to face their problems, to tackle their pressure.........myself need to be strong first........if i want someone to smile at me and cheering me up.............myself need to smile first.........if i want someone to be happy........myself need to be happy first........then i could bring all the happiness, all the sweet smile and all the strong will to help others.......

its not that kind of easy........u can think about it yourself......a lot of hard work need to be done n mostly we deal with our spiritual as it plays along with our heart and feelings.......even i'm alone right now.....even i seems to look like not that strong enough.......even though i look like a weak girl in front of others eyes......

i still try to teach my self to have that strong will even stronger than the steel....i still try to teach my self to be patient even more patient than the snail that walks on the ground............i still try to teach my self to be confident even i don't know whether i could do it or not........i still try to teach my self to be calm even my heart beating soo hard.......this is all that i do and still doing it n try to do it even more each day.....

all the experiences that i got since i was born until now teach me a lot in my life........different people face different experience in their life.....some are good and some are a little not too good.......but its all depend on them to value their experiences.........some people said,"experiences is the best teacher in the world".......i think it is true.......

i feel a little bit better now after i express all the feelings that burden in my heart.......i need to think positive about him now and give him time to settle down........and hope the precious sweet days will come again to me........(^_^)

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