Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Recovering from the Pain of Sadness

Its been a while now since the time it happen....the pain has slowly faded away from my heart...I feel relief about that.....try to forget everything is the best way right now for me.....I wish a could delete and forget every single things about us being together and about him......I think it should be better this way coz forgetting all of it means I could heal the pain inside me.....sometimes I feel the moment soo precious to me that i couldn't forget, but it hurting my heart when remembering it.....soo what for???

Now I'm focussing on my stdy, of coz its stdy week right now......hope that I could achieve better than last time.....can I do it????....even I dont know....what I know right now, I should do my best in all the things that i wanna do.....i've to know what my target are...I know that study is not the only things that I should do.....but at the time like this, nearing to da final, my priority is on my study....

Talking about the sadness, that really a worst feeling to me....only hana n dayah know how worst it has affecting.....really worst...to me laaa.....even before this i've facing one same case, but this time its really hurt than before......I dont know why does it affecting me that deep....I cry a lot for several days, which make both of them, hana n dayah really worry about me....sory girls for making both of you wory that much.....

I could accept the truth now....the pain have teach me to be matured in dealing with feelings....I'll never let him come back to me again....never ever will allow it.....one's that person have trowing me away, he will never get it back....so nothing to be regret of....that is our choices.....for him to let me go....n for me not to accept him anymore now.......maybe that the faith between us.,....n I'll accept the faith with open heart...because I know Allah always know what the best for me....

Even the situation make me really sad, n feeling the worst of my life, I dont regret it.....coz I believe there something that Allah want to show and want me to learn from what have happen....everythings that happen to me is an exam for me to get through......I want to learn from my mistake....I want to learn from what I've done.....regretting what have become the past is useless if we dont learn the moral of the story.....well, experience is priceless.....sooo, I wanna look into myself again....

Sometimes, I wish to be born again.....so that will never meet the people who have hurting me before.....of coz that will never happen....hmmm...from now onwards, I've to be strong to proceed with my life.....even if we met on the way, Its okey coz I wont notice him...I'll not remembering anything about him.....the thing left is 0.....only zero...the things that he always said.....zero....now i'm really wanna be 0 about him....not even a tiny memory left.....

I notice that, even he left me....there still some people out there to support me....the people who I dont aspect they will come n help.....but they come n help......how strange I feel....n soo thankful to them coz help me to recover myself from the pain of sadness inside my heart......these are one of the things that Allah wanna show to me....even I feel like my world have end because been left by the person I love....there still people out there who will accompany me...in my journey.....Allah will never leave me alone....that why I always love Allah a lot...from the bottom of my heart....

To my ownself, I wish all the best for me......hope I'll get better as days goes by.....and achieve the goals that I've targeted......there people who love me out there, waiting for me to come back....juz wait and watch my victory as a present from me to all of you.... ;-)

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